Conditioning

In the past three weeks I have come to realize something about myself and it is not pretty. The reason I left my job over one year ago to pursue freelancing had a lot to do with how poorly my direct manager treated me.

Now, one year later, I am working for an amazing company and I am just starting to realize the impact of working for a crappy boss. There have been so many times over the last couple of weeks, where my new manager has said, "Hey, Cheree, when you get a chance, I need to speak with you."

My first response to this statement is to panic and try to wrack my brain to see what I did wrong. Then I am in shock when my manager has a simple request or wants to praise me for something. Or is just understanding of the fact that I have never done something before and wants to point me in the right direction.

I hate the fact that I allowed another person dictate how I respond to people or things.

I generally consider myself to be a confident person, but this is new territory for me. I had no idea that I had been conditioned to respond in such a negative manner.

I am so thankful that I am no longer with my previous company and even more thankful to be with a company that cares about its employees and wants to work to make everyone stretch and grow as much as possible.