Last week I had a conversation with my little brother about my inane fear of tornadoes. I have had to deal with tornado warnings for a good portion of my life and yet I still get scared of them. My brother wanted to know if I saw the glass as half empty or half full. I told him that it depends. I like to think that I am an optimist {or that I at least try to be optimistic}, but obviously my fear of dying in a tornado is a pessimistic view of life.
Following that conversation, I started reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. The Happiness Project is Gretchen's year-long quest to discover if by studying happiness and making deliberate choices could lead to a happier life. She feels that she is a basically happy person {I can relate} but believes that there may be a way to increase her happiness.
She divides her year up by months and focuses on smaller resolutions each month to increase her happiness. These resolutions include: decluttering her life, choosing not to get angry over small things, having more fun with her children, fighting less with her husband, exercising regularly, deliberately spending money, choosing to do hobbies she enjoys, studying religion, etc.
It was a very interesting book, but I found myself thinking that a lot of her deliberate resolutions were things that I already choose to do on a daily basis. It was a good reminder that we get to choose whether we are happy or not and that sometimes just making the effort will make us feel happy.
To that note, I think I better start choosing not to be afraid of tornadoes...
Excerpts from the book:
"All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking." ... {Nietzsche's} observation is backed up by science; exercise-induced brain chemicals help people to think clearly.
Oscar Wilde observed, "One is not always happy when one is good; but one is always good when one is happy."
"There is no love; there are only proofs of love." {Pierre Reverdy}. Whatever love I might feel in my heart, others will see only in my actions.
"The chief happiness of a man is to be what he is." {Erasmus}
"Between the ages of twenty and forty we are engaged in the process of discovering who we are, which involves learning the difference between accidental limitations which it is our duty to outgrow and the necessary limitations of our nature beyond which we cannot trespass with impunity." {W.H. Auden}
Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy. When I thought about why I was sometimes reluctant to push myself, I realized that it was because I was afraid of failure – but in order to have more success, I needed to be willing to accept more failure.
The days are long, but the years are short.
To eke out the most happiness from an experience, we must anticipate it, savor it as it unfolds, express happiness, and recall a happy memory.
"Of all the things that wisdom provides for living one's life in happiness, the greatest by far is the possession of friendship." {Epicurus}
When money or health is a problem, you think of little else; when it's not a problem, you don't think much about it.
"The things that go wrong often make the best memories." {Gretchen Rubin's mother – I heartily agree with this statement}
...I {do} often view people who make critical remarks as more perceptive and discriminating. At the same time, though, it's hard to find pleasure in the company of someone who finds nothing pleasing.
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