Our Rainbow Baby

You may have noticed that today, October 15, is Pregnancy and Infancy Loss Awareness Day. While it seems that there is something special to celebrate every day of the year, this day hits close to home for me.

It's hard to believe that almost a year ago to the day, I was at the high-risk doctor praying that the baby I was carrying was still viable. Praying that I would not have to endure another miscarriage. 

Thankfully God answered my prayer.

The year was a tumultuous one. We were settling into a new city, in a new house, after living out of suitcases for 6 months. Daniel and I were ready to expand our family and were elated that by Easter we were expecting. 

Shortly after Easter came the horrible news that I was experiencing a blighted ovum and would miscarry. The miscarriage happened at home on the Sunday before Mother's Day. I was crushed.

Today, as I hold my sweet baby boy, it is hard to believe that last year held such difficulty. My pregnancy with Isaac was high risk and filled with anxiety. There was a fear that would not loose its grip on me. And it all culminated last April with a rather scary emergency C-section. 

Six month later, here we are. Isaac is our sunshine, our rainbow after a terrible storm. He is laughter and sweetness and love. He reminds us that good things can happen, even after bad. My experience in bringing him into the world is one of learning to trust fully in God. In letting go of the things that I cannot control. He is our rainbow baby.

I recently had an epiphany: 
While my miscarriage was very difficult (physically and emotionally), and I am saddened that we never met that baby, if we had not walked through that valley Isaac would not be in our arms today. 

So we press forward and embrace what God has given us: our precious family of four. We do not take for granted our days and we give thanks for the good and the bad, having hope in the knowledge that the child lost is in heaven.

If you have experienced pregnancy or infant loss, I hope that you will be brave and share your story with those around you. In sharing I have found great healing. If you know someone who has experienced this type of loss, be willing to listen in an effort to shoulder their burden with them. Click here for other suggestions for supporting your loved one.

Early this year I met someone who shared HopeMommies.Org with me. This is an organization that provides an online support system for those who have experienced infant and pregnancy loss. They also have retreats you can attend and Hope Boxes that you can purchase on behalf of a loved one walking through this valley of sorrow.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11