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Friday, March 20, 2020

CVSD: Day 9

I don't know about you guys, but these days I am not getting the best sleep. Poor sleep means a cranky mommy/wife, which isn't good for anyone.

If I'm being honest, today wasn't a great day. I don't like writing that because overall my life is good. Compared to my siblings and so many others who work at hospitals, I am barely inconvenienced. But even so, I think we all have bad days, and today was one for me.

I am one of those people who is a mixture of extroverted and introverted. Meaning I need to be with people and do my best processing out loud, but I also need larges doses of time by myself. And while I have had plenty of time with my family (almost 24/7 for the last seven days), our conversations have revolved almost completely around school/kid stuff or coronavirus updates/Daniel's work. I guess I've just hit my max on these topics and needed some time alone. And by alone I don't mean absentmindedly surfing my phone and reading all of the CV updates.

After dinner I saw that my great aunt had shared a video on FB of a group of women singing "Down to the River" as a virtual choir. Different locations but together. It's beautiful to hear their voices all blend and to read where they are all from.



As I watched the video I felt a sudden urge to take a walk. It was almost dark and cold and rainy, but I just needed to go. So I left Daniel and the kids to work on a crane they are building out of K'nex and I walked down to Green Gorge (a trail close to our house). As I walked, the lines "I went down to the river to pray" kept repeating in my head like an anthem.

The creek at Green Gorge was swollen with water. The trail was mostly a puddle. As I walked my frustrations eased. As I repeated the lines to the song, the words fell away and a prayer came instead. I pulled the hood of my rain jacket off my head and let the water trickle down my face. It was just what I needed. I came home soaked, but feeling like I was in a much better place. Sometimes you just need to go down to the river to pray.

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