Last night was my first bout with insomnia. I hope this isn't a prelude of what is to come. Over the last couple of weeks I have been plagued with bizarre nightmares but I would rather have nightmares than a night of tossing and turning.
During my state of awakening, I kept coming back to the same thoughts. I was thinking about Sophie and how much she means to us. In recent months several of our friends have lost their four-legged companions to old age and it makes me sad to think that Sophie won't be with us forever.
We weren't expecting to get her and when we did get her, we were less than prepared. The first few days we even doubted our decision, but soon she had won our hearts. She keeps us company when we are lonely, amuses us with her playfulness and is always excited when we come home.
One of my favorite quirks of hers is when we go hiking. We let her roam off leash {she generally stays on the trail} and she will run ahead of us. Once she is out of sight of us, she will come back to make sure we are still on the trail. She will wait with her head cocked to one side until we reach her. If Daniel gets there first she will continue to wait until she can see me as well.
She has brought us a joy that we didn't know before.
I once had a good friend share with me her analogy for having children. She compared herself to a one-story house with many rooms. Before her first child was born, she was worried that her daughter would occupy one of those "rooms" and push out whatever part of her being already occupied that room. However, when her daughter was born, she discovered that instead of taking over a room, her daughter became an entire second story to her house {to herself}. And when her son came, she thought she wouldn't have room for him either, but instead he became like a third story. Instead of taking away parts of her being, she grew into something she hadn't fathomed she could be {a much bigger house if we are sticking with the analogy}.
I think having a dog has been like that for me. Sophie didn't cramp my style. She didn't take anything away from me {not anything that I was willing to give up myself}. Instead I grew as a person for having her and I know that having our first child will be like that as well. It doesn't have to take away from who I am, it will only add to my happiness and joy and make me grow as a person.
To my friends who have recently lost their four-legged companions, my heart goes out to you. I will leave you with a link to a post written by White on Rice about this type of loss as well as a short documentary of what it was like for one person to lose his dog, his friend.
Last Minutes with ODEN from phos pictures on Vimeo.
Last Minutes with ODEN from phos pictures on Vimeo.
*Note not for sensitive ears, the f-bomb gets dropped frequently.
**Reading this post and watching this video is heartbreaking. Don't say I didn't warn you.
