Twenty Years

I recently heard an idea that was attributed to Aristotle that I can't quit thinking about: "If you want to come across as an ethical man, you need to be an ethical man." The more I think about this, I find that I can extrapolate this concept to most parts of my life, including marriage.

 

If I want a good spouse, I need to be a good spouse. 

 

 

 

Spoiler alert: I am not always a good spouse. And a lot of times when our marriage feels like it is going off the rails, one or both of us (probably both) is not being a good spouse.  

 

 

 

Friday was our twentieth wedding anniversary. Twenty years full of amazing memories, but also twenty years of being human and selfish. We don't always get it right. It takes work. A lot of work. 

 

 

 

We have both changed so much in the last twenty years. We have grown up. We have shifted in things we think. We have become more stubborn in some areas. It has taken work to show up and continue on.

   

 

Some days (years) seem so easy, some are incredibly hard and fraught with tension and misunderstanding. But we have continued on and it has, and continues to be, worth it.

 

Earlier this year we had discussed taking a big trip for this important 20th anniversary. We are not great at celebrating and it takes a lot of intention for us to make something like this happen. We are also procrastinators. And while we kept quietly talking about this trip we needed to take, we never made 

plans. 

 

In fact, the week before, Daniel called me to ask if he should take any days off since we hadn't decided on anything. I told him to take off Thursday and Friday and we went about setting a plan in motion. We found friends to keep the boys and booked a tiny house locally on Sunday (for Thursday!). 

 

It wasn't a grandiose thing. It was fairly last minute. I decided we should go on a couple of hikes that I love that I have done with our kids but that Daniel had not been able to experience. He decided where we should eat. We had fun just the two of us. It wasn't exhausting and we came home rejuvenated in our relationship.

 

I hope we take that big trip sometime in the next year, but if we don't, it's okay. I have never felt so content. Maybe contentment is where it is at. High expectations can wreak havoc (in my experience). Connecting with each other and working individually to be good spouses and finding contentment, that is what twenty years of marriage has taught me.

Happy 20th Anniversary, Daniel! I pray for many more years together and many more adventures to come!

A Look Back on the blog:
Five Years  |  Six Years  |  Skipped Seven Year Post  |  Eight Years  |  Nine Years  |  Ten Years  |  Eleven Years  |  Twelve Years  |  Thirteen Years  |  Fourteen Years  |  Fifteen Years

Outdoor Adventures | 2017 edition

Between family hikes, bike rides, and chances to paddle, we had a great year outdoors in 2017. In addition to time as a family spent outside, Daniel also was able to make several excursions to ride dirt bikes with friends in Prentice Cooper Forest this year. The kids and I enjoyed our almost weekly Friend Friday's –– which included many outdoor adventures. Jack and Daniel also did several father-son activities, sometimes just the two of them, and sometimes with friends. When homeschool kicked off for us, Jack and I started doing almost weekly hikes as part of our school week. I'm so grateful we have been able to continue to carve out time for the things we love and to do them with a family, and also with friends. May 2018 be just as adventurous!

January
First Hike of the New Year: Old Stone Fort | Manchester, TN
Mabbit Springs | Signal Mountain, TN

February
Long Weekend at the Beach | Saint Augustine, FL
Biking the Tennessee Riverpark's Newest Section | Chattanooga, TN
Girl's Weekend and WaveRunner Snorkel Safari | Grand Cayman Islands

March
Rainbow Lake | Signal Mountain, TN
Gulf Specimen Aquarium and Alligator Point | Tallahassee, FL (area)
Spring Break Outside | various places
Greenway Farms with Friends | Hixson, TN

April
Coolidge Park with Friends | Chattanooga, TN
Friends for Life (Rainbow Lake with friends) | Signal Mountain, TN
Friend Friday: Picnic at Greenway Farms | Hixson, TN
Friend Friday: Aquarium Fountains | Chattanooga, TN

May
Family Date: Paddling at Chester Frost | Hixson, TN
Mother's Day Mountain Biking Excursion | Springer's Ridge in Chattanooga, TN
Memorial Day (soggy) Bike Ride | Signal Mountain, TN
Summer Kickoff 2017: Mushroom Rock | Signal Mountain, TN

June
Lost Sea Adventure | Sweetwater, TN
Mountain Biking with Kids: Edwards Point | Signal Mountain, TN
Dirt Bikes in Prentice Cooper | Suck Mountain, TN
21 Miles (on the Virginia Creeper Trail) | Damascus, VA
Grayson Highlands | Damascus, VA
Friend Friday: Big Soddy Gulf | Soddy Daisy, TN

July
Voyles Cousin's Week | Greers Ferry, AR
Paddling with Kids on North Chick | Hixson, TN
Cummins Falls | Cookeville, TN
Rock City | Lookout Mountain, TN

August
2017 Canadian Vacation in Cottage Country | Orillia, Ontario, Canada
Father-Son TKO | Prentice Cooper, TN
Solar Eclipse (Totality) | Cotton Port Wildlife Management Area outside of Dayton, TN
Five Senses Nature Hike in Green Gorge | Signal Mountain, TN

September
Injury while hiking to Mushroom Rock | Signal Mountain, TN
Seed Pod Nature Day | Signal Mountain, TN
Friend Friday: Greenway Farms Picnic | Hixson, TN
Hurricane Irma Cousin Weekend: Hike to Rainbow Lake | Signal Mountain, TN
Mini Beast Nature Hike at Mabbit Springs | Signal Mountain, TN
Friend Friday: Big Soddy Gulf Picnic | Soddy Daisy, TN

October
Reflection Riding Center (Monday Nature Day with friends) | Lookout Mountain, TN
Joyce Kilmer Wilderness Among Trees (family hike), Cherohala Skyway, NC
Greenway Farms Nature Day (family archery lesson and hike) | Hixson, TN
Father-Son Hike to Mushroom Rock | Signal Mountain, TN

November
Glen Falls (Nature Day) | Lookout Mountain, TN
Mushroom Rock (Nature Day with Mommy and Daddy) | Signal Mountain, TN
Dirt Bike Date_Prentice Cooper | Suck Mountain, TN
Raccoon Mountain (Nature Day) | Raccoon Mountain, TN

December
Winter Birds Nature Day at The Boulders (Nature Day) | Lookout Mountain, TN
Toccoa River Swinging Bridge | North Georgia Mountains
Amicalola Falls | North Georgia Mountains
New Years Eve Hike at Green Gorge | Signal Mountain, TN

15th Anniversary: Toccoa River

Earlier this year, I had imagined that Daniel and I would take a trip, just the two of us, to celebrate our 15th Anniversary. 

Perhaps Colorado where we honeymooned? Maybe Europe, or The Caribbean? That was my hope.

But that didn’t happen. Instead we spent a weekend as a family in the North Georgia Mountains.

As I sat on the bank of the Toccoa River on the day of our anniversary, I realized that this is the life that I love and that I chose, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

We spent our special day as a family. 

We hiked to the Toccoa River swinging bridge. We played in snow. We wandered in old forest. 

And it was perfect. 

Daniel and I ended the night by stealing away, just the two of us. 

We ate at Harvest on Main in Blue Ridge, GA. It was 32F and we ate outside on the restaurant porch, under a heat lamp. 

The food was delicious, even if the temperature was a bit frigid. We still enjoyed our time alone.

We ended the night at Walmart, because we are the parents of small children and we needed diapers. 

Life is busy, not always what you expect, hard at times, but always good. 

Happy 15th Daniel! I’m so glad to spend my days with you. 

A Look Back on the blog:
Five Years  |  Six Years  |  Skipped Seven Year Post  |  Eight Years  |  Nine Years  |  Ten Years  |  Eleven Years  |  Twelve Years  |  Thirteen Years  |  Fourteen Years