52 Books in 52 Weeks: Book 18

The overarching theme of The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs is the search for belonging. To some degree, I believe this is a search we are all on.

Unfortunately, the writing is weak and the storyline is expected. Though I found the framework of knitting, to be interesting, it could have been more inspiring with a better editor.

Quotes that stuck out to me:

It was what it was – a very New York kind of friendship – and yet each felt, in the city of strangers, that they had found a good friend in each other... It had been a long, long time since Georgia had had the type of friend who knew what you wanted to say even before you said it. Who was always in your corner. Who actually enjoyed talking to you every day.

... when you're young, you always think you'll meet all sorts of wonderful people, that drifting apart and losing friends is natural. You don't worry, at first, about the friends you leave behind. But as you get older, it gets harder to build friendships. Too many defenses, too little opportunity. You get busy. And by the time you realize that you've lost the dearest best friend you ever had, years have gone by and you're mature enough to be embarrassed by your attitude and, frankly, by your arrogance.

Every knitter has a sweater left unfinished... there's a secret hope that makes you hold on, to dream that you'll get it right some day, that you'll go back and take it up again and it will finally come out right. That this time all the pieces will fit. The mistake is waiting until you feel renewed enough to give it another try. You simply have to pick up the needles and keep at it anyway.

"I'm not God. But I can tell you some things I believe... I believe medical issues just happen – they're not cosmic tests; they're not retribution for all the naughty things you've done over a lifetime. It's not some moral righting of the universe. It's just something going wonky with the wiring... And I think God cries when we're in pain; he cries with us and supports us. But I also believe he stands back and lets us sort things out. Lets the doctors do their work. Lets your body heal itself." – Father Smith

"And if it doesn't?" - Georgia

"Then he welcomes you with open arms. God isn't really about the body, you know - he's about the soul." - Father Smith

"So if I pray hard enough I'll get better?" - Georgia

"No, no, that's not what I mean at all. Praying isn't a form of divine insurance. It's just a way of communicating, just a way of opening your heart." - Father Smith

I'll let you in on a little secret. we don't all love our jobs every day. And doing something you have a passion for doesn't make the work part of it any easier... it just makes you less likely to quit.

Every knitter stitches with love... it never matters if things don't end up just the way you planned. Every moment is a work of progress; every stitch is one stitch closer. There may be worse, but there is always better. When you wear something you've made with your own hands, you surround yourself with love, and all the love that came before you. The real achievement is being proud of what you've made.

52 Books in 52 Weeks: Book 17

According to the book American Nerd by Benjamin Nugent, there are two basic types of nerds... those who are intellectual in ways that are machinelike and those who are considered "uncool" by the popular kids.

Daniel believes that he was a combination of the two {growing up} and I believe that, to some degree, I was probably the latter. I think there are people who have a hard time adapting to "social" norms and stay in the nerd category their whole lives. Others cross over to non-nerd category by learning to live within the social norms.*

The book was very intriguing. It speaks to how nerds have been woven into pop culture and even talks about the "fake" nerd {creative types that are trying to make the nerd-type trendy}.

Quotes from the book:

Meaning what you say, and wanting other people to mean what they say, to stop alluding, implying, and teasing, and get down to the point.

This quote made me laugh. Daniel and I recently had a conversation about how he doesn't allude or imply anything...

Late nineteenth century America was plagued by a fear of human domestication, of men becoming over civilized and housebound.... For men who felt emasculated by the industrial age, sport was a way of making tough-guy skills important again.

For most of us, high school was about trying to get through each day without getting beat up or humiliated. High school was about survival.

"I love the things I love because I am guided by some untamed voice within me that causes me to have random obsessions. I will follow my individualized obsessions, not trends, and be transparent about those obsessions, even when those obsessions tell me to like things widely considered ugly and cheap."
– The Fake Nerd

It's not that the class has secretly admired Napoleon (Dynamite) the whole time. It's that when the nerd goes over the top into super-nerdy, he makes everyone want to be more authentic and less judgmental.

*Unfortunately "Social Norms" are created by society and people that do not fall into these norms are often relegated to the perimeter of said society.

Radio Silence

That is what we have heard since our five showings in three days last week. The deadline for the first-time home buyer tax incentive came and went. And we have had no showings since last Wednesday. We can't really regret not accepting the offer that was $30 grand under our asking price since we technically tried to negotiate and they were the ones that walked away. AND we made the best decision we could with the information we had at that exact moment.

But that doesn't make this week any easier. I know there is a buyer for our house, they just haven't connected with us yet. It is hard to know what to do at this point. I believe the real estate market was artificially inflated for the month of April while everyone tried to get a last-minute deal. Now it is May. After 25 showings in four weeks it feels abnormal to have no requests for showings. The dust is settling and it will be interesting to see how things pan out. Surely there are still people looking for homes. Right?

Living for Today

The problem with living for today is that I am waiting for tomorrow. This puts me in a difficult place. On the one hand, I am beyond ready to move forward with my life in Chattanooga. On the other hand, I am still {6+hours away} in Charlotte and there is no official end in sight.

Last year, I really wanted to start growing my own vegetables. But I put it off. I was worried that Daniel would get a job offer and we would have to sell our house and move. Because I put it off, I didn't grow that garden. Now it is a year later and Daniel does have a job but I still don't have a garden because I am waiting for our house to sell.

Last year I also had the opportunity to participate in a triathlon with a friend. Even though I really wanted to participate in the race, I opted out because 1) I felt guilty spending money while Daniel was unemployed and 2) I thought there was a chance that Daniel would get a job offer and we would have to move. The money part makes sense, but Daniel didn't get his job offer until the end of December and didn't start work until March 1. And I still haven't participated in a triathlon.

So... how long should you put off your life? There will always be what ifs to be concerned about and I don't want to live in the world of woulda, coulda, shoulda.

Another problem with waiting for job offers {or houses to sell or the right one to marry or babies...} is that these periods of waiting offer no definitive time frame. You are hoping things will work out, but you have no clue how long it will take. Chances are that it WILL take longer than you hope and, in the meantime, you need to keep living your life.

So while I continue to wait for this phase of my life to transition into the next, maybe I should take up gardening in pots {since I don't want to dig up the yard} or maybe I need to find a triathlon and go ahead and commit to doing something for myself.

What about you? What are you putting off for tomorrow?

"Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today."
 Thomas Jefferson

Project 52 Date Nights - Perspective

This weekend was a marathon of running errands - they {errands} seem to pile up when you are separated during the week. Saturday night, we picked up the movie, Up In The Air, and watched it while eating chocolate ice cream.

Watching a movie about people getting laid off really makes you thankful for your job... we are especially thankful that Daniel is no longer unemployed.

Saturday we also had the opportunity to check up on family members who live in Nashville and Memphis. Thanks to cell phones, Facebook and gChat, we were able to get a lot of live updates from loved ones and friends who were experiencing the great flood firsthand.

I have been having a seriously difficult time with being separated from Daniel over the past two months, but seeing and hearing about what so many other people are going through really puts my life in perspective. I need to be more thankful for the things that I have.

52 Books in 52 Weeks: Book 16

In recent weeks, I have been really off with my eating habits and while I have been running fairly regularly, I would like to add some strength training to my regimen. In order to get motivated, I decided to read Making the Cut by Jilian Michaels (from the Biggest Loser). 

This is a no-nonsense book for people looking to shed their final 25 pounds. It is pretty strict 30-day diet and fitness plan... I don't know that I can stick to the meal plan EXACTLY at this moment in my life, though I do plan to use the recipes to start cooking again and eating foods that are healthy. 

Quotes from the book: 

You can change your life by changing your mind... it's your mind that directs and drives everything you do... 

Responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for your situation.

Keeping a food journal allows you to study any patterns that may emerge and helps you identify where you may be able to make more healthful changes. 

Anxiety is born of fear, and fear is our number-one saboteur when it comes to achieving our goals.

Use perceived failures and misfortunes as a catalyst to push you toward bigger and better things.

Peace

As of this past Wednesday our house has been on the market for four weeks. Wednesday was also the day that we received our first offer. It was for $150 {in cash} and they wanted to close in two weeks...

This had us reeling. First of all, it was ridiculously low {current asking price is $180, we started at $185 and comparables support these numbers}. Second, to add to all of the stress of our current lives, two weeks would be doable, but insanely stressful.

So we did what all home-owners would do, we countered. On Thursday, our realtor pulled comps and wrote them a very nice counter offer that said we would only accept reasonable/real offers. But we would be willing to drop to $173.

It was a very stressful week as I had 5 showings in three days and we were trying to make decisions about this {only} offer. Their realtor wrote back and said they didn't want to budge and they would keep looking.

The strange thing is, for the first time in weeks, I was at peace. It wasn't the right scenario for us. We have been under so much pressure to sell, but when they didn't even try to negotiate further, we knew it wasn't for us. Sad, but we will keep on keeping on.

There were no 11th hour offers last night. I have no idea if the real estate market is going to depress again now that the tax incentive is gone. I hope not. We will leave that in God's hands. 

I found this verse yesterday and it really spoke to me:

"You will surely forget your trouble, 
 recalling it only as waters gone by."

Job 11:16

There is such truth in this verse. Life can feel so overwhelming at times, but after we pass through the hard times, we forget how difficult those times were... we recall them as waters gone by.