Sunday, October 30, 2011

Overwhelmed


When I get stressed or overwhelmed I get cranky. It's how I function. I think it has something to do with not feeling in control of my life. It's why I rarely cry. I feel out of control if I cry, so mostly I don't do it. I also try not to allow myself to get to a point of being stressed or overwhelmed – a big reason why I exercise {and have continued to do so throughout this pregnancy}.

Saturday I had a moment of cranky, out of control, overwhelmed crying. It started building on Friday. I got to hang out with my sister and we went and got pedicures – something that should have been totally relaxing and fun. And it was. Except for the fact that it wasn't what I expected – the place we went didn't have us soak our feet or massage our feet/legs for very long. I hate that something as silly as my expectations not being met can start me in a tail spin.

That afternoon, following my OB appointment, Daniel and I went to Starbucks. My order was messed up and it made me cranky {they forgot to add vanilla to my vanilla latte and when I went back to complain, I ended up with sugar-free vanilla}. Totally stupid, I know. But I wasn't in control and my hormones must have been in overdrive to make me upset.

Saturday we worked on putting together our baby swag. We are actually fairly prepared at this point, but for some reason I just started feeling really overwhelmed. I think it is freaking me out that I don't have any control over when Jack is going to make his appearance {and I have no intention of inducing if we can avoid it}. So after lunch I had a moment or two of crying and telling Daniel how overwhelmed I have been feeling. 

As a guy he just wants to fix it {which he can't}. But at least after almost 9 years of marriage he knows when to just listen and let me vent. We spent some time just hanging out in the hammock and I felt much better. 

I'm going to chalk this experience up to hormones and be thankful that these moments have been almost non existent for me. I think we would both be going a bit crazy if I had been super hormonal for the entirety of the last 9 months!

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