Charlotte – How We First Came to the Queen City

Charlotte, North Carolina is a special place for Daniel and I. It is the first big city we lived in and really our first time to feel like we were on our own and truly grown up, not just two kids playing house.

We initially came to the Queen City when Daniel received a job offer from a landscape architecture firm as a civil engineer. It was February of 2004 and the economy was doing great. We didn't know a soul and our closest family members were 7 hours away. We were still newlyweds, married just over two years at the time. We didn't really know what to expect. I left a good job in Cookeville, TN and we threw ourselves into the task of becoming adults...

We rented an apartment uptown, two blocks from Daniel's firm. At the time, there was very little happening uptown after the hours of 5pm. The banking community would have a mass exodus from center city as employees fled the downtown area. It was actually kind of bizarre to live where we lived. It was great for Daniel in terms of proximity to work, but at the time, we didn't really feel like we lived in a city. 

After 9 months of listening to the trains rumble by our apartment in 4th Ward, we finally took the plunge and bought our first house... a fixer upper in South Charlotte. It took us 5 years to renovate that house. A lot of blood, sweat and tears went into it. Also a lot of love. 

During the course of our time in Charlotte, I worked as a graphic designer for a real estate company and a product development company; I also freelanced from home and taught at a local community college. Our years were full and we generally felt blessed.

We found friends and community in the form of a small group from our church. We didn't always feel connected at church itself, but the weekly meals and bible study in our friend's homes made us feel like we had a place.

In 2009, with the collapse of the economy and the housing market, Daniel experienced a layoff. It was not unexpected, but a layoff is hard nonetheless, even when you know it is a real possibility. Our last year in Charlotte was a difficult one, but after 12 months of nose-to-the grindstone searching, Daniel found a job in a new industry in a new state and we left the city that helped us become "grown ups." This was also when we got Sophie – our beloved dog that has changed our lives forever.

This week, we have come back for our first visit {together} in more than two years. A lot has changed –for one, we now have a wonderful little guy who has brought us abundant joy– but a lot is still the same.

I Love You Moore, even when our sense of normal isn't normal

So what do you do when you are young and don’t have a clue about renovating? You just dig right in and you don’t look back. This early in the game, you believe it will only take a year or so to finish (even with all of your big plans).

You rip out carpet with a vengeance. You paint walls like you always had mad skills to use a spray gun with oil-based KILZ. You wind up with your eyelashes fused together and scratch your head wondering what got you into this predicament. You tear out walls and tell yourself it will be back to normal soon.

A year later, you thank God that you finally have a working kitchen and wonder when you will have floors installed on every surface (verses exposed plywood sub floor).

Another year passes and you learn to ignore the unfinished things. You start trying to reclaim your life and stop sweating the small stuff. By now you have learned what to waste your time arguing about and what to let go. And your sense of normal has changed significantly.

Another year passes and you complete your master bathroom. Did it really take almost four years to get here? 

Your friends bug you continually about when you will finally throw a big party and let them see all of the progress. You say “soon” and then realize you have been saying “soon” for months (maybe years).

The employees at the local Lowes Home Improvement store think you are contractors. You don’t have the heart to tell them that you are just a husband and wife who are on a journey and that you just finished painting the walls and staining the concrete floors in your basement.

You come away with battle scars (including a scarred leg from a chainsaw, bruises from falling (1) off of a ladder that collapsed under you and (2) through an uncovered vent), but at the end, it is all worth it.

I Love You Moore than our House Renovation

Once upon a time {about 5 years ago} a young couple {Cheree & Daniel} purchased their first home. They had grandiose ideas of renovating. He was an engineer. She was a {graphic} designer. It would be so easy

And it was.

Kind of.

Starting out was easy. They had no idea what they were doing, but they jumped right in. They ripped out carpet. They installed new floors. They painted. They disassembled a kitchen. They tiled. They did a custom master bathroom with a CUSTOM shower. They moved walls. Seriously. They moved walls. They were nuts.

They learned how to argue and disagree about things like what appliances to buy, what would be the best {most complicated} tile pattern to lay and what walls to move. What walls were load bearing and couldn't be moved. What was possible. What was not. What was ridiculous.

He learned that all of her idea generations was just her way of brain storming. She learned that Excel spreadsheets are absolutely necessary to renovate. They worked hard. Through blood {including a chainsaw accident}, sweat and tears they made a home.

And now due to a lay off and subsequent job in a new city, they have to move...

We are on the verge of finishing our house and we will put it on the market soon so that we can move to Chattanooga and start again. Friends and family always ask if we would do it again. And we emphatically shout NO. But truthfully I can see us doing it again. It would be different. Maybe room by room instead of GUTTING an entire house and putting it back together while we lived there.

We always say we would do small things like paint. And put in wood floors. And of course tile. And replacing a kitchen wouldn't be that bad, right? A bathroom renovation? That would be a piece of cake. Staining concrete? Sure.

We would probably hire out dry wall work. Daniel hates drywall.

 In the coming posts I will share pictures and advice of our process. What we did. What we wish we had done. What we would NEVER do again. At times, this project has taken over our lives, but it has taught us so much about ourselves. We gave up hobbies for our house, but the experience we have gained is invaluable. In the future we would work to do a better job of balancing our hobbies and life with our house projects. Being consumed by a never-ending house renovation can be overwhelming. But we are thankful for our experience.