The Trenches of Motherhood

 

At this exact moment, my 9-month-old is napping peacefully and my four-year-old is playing pretend Christmas – wrapping up toys to give to me. Seeing this scene you would have no idea how much of a fiasco our midday was.

It started out normally, eating breakfast and preparing to go to the Y with a planned play date after. All things we normally do. Upon arriving at the Y, Jack walked into the childcare area without an issue, but for some reason when I finished signing him in, he had a complete meltdown. The kind you would expect from a two-year-old.

I spent the next 30 minutes trying to persuade him to stay before having to throw in the towel, literally carrying him out of the Y as he kicked and screamed. Thank goodness for a friend who was there who not only carried Isaac out for me, but also took all of my stuff while I wrestled with Jack.

It was one of those moments where you just block out everyone else – the stares from strangers, the screams of your child; walking with determination to you car as your arms and spirit ache with the weight of it all.

With the children safely in the car (though still screaming), I stood outside and took a deep breath in an effort to prepare myself for the drive home. My friend and I laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation and I apologized for having to cancel our post-Y play date. She smiled and offered to pray for me, knowing that my afternoon might be difficult. But then she went a step further and, right there in the parking garage, offered a prayer to God on my behalf. She prayed that there would be grace and energy and strength for me in the moments to come. 

Before I became a mother, I didn't have a lot of close girlfriends. It is something I have had to really work at. The further I wade into the waters of motherhood, the more grateful I am to have forged the friendships that I have. We have bonded over the good and hard moments of parenting. These women have become my confidants, my cheerleaders, and support system as I try to figure out life as a mom. I hope we don't have to cancel another play date, but am forever thankful for friends who are understanding and even willing to pray for me, on the spot if necessary.

⁹ Two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better. ¹⁰ If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he’s in trouble. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (Living Bible Translation)

Adversity/Stress

In our home church on Sunday nights, we are doing a study on stress that is based on the book of Philippians and Paul's letters that were written during his time of adversity. Even when things went wrong for Paul, he still continued to praise God in every situation.

From our discussion tonight, one thing really stuck out to me. Your perspective is really what determines your stress level. If you react to every situation like it is the end of the world, your stress level is probably going to be high.

So my thoughts for the coming weeks are as follows: If something in my life seems out of control or like bad things are continually happening I will ask the following question: Has anybody died?

If no one has died, then the situation, while serious, does not merit me having a panic attack about it. If no one has died, situations can be dealt with and we will persevere no matter what life throws at us. Satan will not distract me with petty arguments or critical comments from others. I will not waste time passing the blame on to others or trying to be defensive about anything.

I will live my life by having faith in God and constant prayer and by not worrying about things that I cannot control in my life or in the lives of others.