When a Door Closes...

Almost seven years ago I exited corporate America. It was a planned exit that was a result of life circumstances at the time. Daniel had started a new job with TVA based in rural Alabama, we had finally sold our house in North Carolina, and it was time for me to join him.

We lived in a camper for three months in Chattanooga before purchasing a house in Hollywood, AL and making the decision to start our family. During that time period I was able to grow my freelance graphic design business to a manageable size that allowed me to ease into my new role as mother while also keeping my foot in the working world. After nearly a decade of working full time, it was the perfect transition.

For six+ years I juggled motherhood and clients that were located in several states. It felt good to still be a part of something I knew so well and I was fortunate to have excellent clients. When we added a second child to our family, my freelance work was still there, though the juggling part became a little harder. But I still did it and it still felt like the right fit.

At the start of 2017, I realized something had changed. My consistent workload from my clients didn't feel as consistent. When I looked back at my records, I realized that there had been a shift, a definite slowing down.

About a month ago, I reached out to my regulars and realized that they had all begun to use in-house employees in lieu of me. I understand the need to have in-house designers (in my past I have been that person), it just came as a bit of a shock since all of my clients, after years of utilizing my services, all seemed to change direction at once.

While leaving corporate America was my own personal choice, having my freelance clients, seemingly simultaneously, leave me stung.

The good news is that I am finding a groove with just being in the mother role, as opposed to juggling working as well. When a door shuts like this, it feels like God is saying that it is maybe time to focus on something else. I am planning on homeschooling Jack this fall, so maybe my purpose for now is to focus on that.

I miss my freelance work. Magazines, annual reports, textbooks, any kind of print design and brand identity is my strong suit, and I miss using my skills to come up with the best solutions for my clients. I guess I will work to put those skills and energy into my kids, at least for now.

De Ja Vu

It is hard to believe that 3 years, 3 months and 26 days ago, Daniel and I were saying goodbye in a parking lot with no clear view of what our future might hold. We just knew that Daniel had a good job and we would be living in two different states until we sold our house. It was horrible.

Last night, I helped Daniel pack his stuff for the week. So much has changed but it was eerily similar to that day 3 years ago. I hate goodbyes, so I am hoping this particular week is the only week we do this. No more indefinite months of living a part. That's not good for anyone.

This time is easier because I know we are creating a short-term game plan that will involve us being together soon. It is different because we are only 2 hours apart instead of 6 and we don't have a renovation to finish (we are hoping to get our house on the market in the next couple of weeks). It is odd because now I have a little toddler to take care of and I can't sit around moping when Jack has no idea that anything is different. 

I am thankful that we live closer to family and that I can pop over to visit them when I need to.

This time around it is the same, but different. I definitely have everyone on my mind that is affected by this transition.

Life Changing

There are moments in life that are life changing... getting married, having a baby, a death and in this case a loss of a job. When life changes, I find the best thing is to embrace the situation and move forward as best you can.

With the current state of the economy, it was not a huge surprise when Daniel called me this morning and said to come pick him up. That was all he said, but I knew immediately that he had been laid off. I had only been at work for about 20 minutes and I was running out the door to get him.

It is weird the emotion that goes along with this. I wasn't surprised, but I did have some moments of shock and maybe some guilt as well... after all it was Wednesday and I had assumed that no lay offs were going to happen and I allowed myself to think that we were OK and that we would be able to buy furniture for our basement after all. How lame is that? I was thinking about furniture the same morning that Daniel would get laid off...

Anyways, these things happen and they are happening more often than not these days. I know so many people who have been laid off. Makes me kind of sad. I don't have answers - not for us and not for others who are experiencing this as well.

There were 12 let go in the Charlotte office and the rest of the employees are getting (another) 10% pay cut.

I am not sure what we are going to do. I am so thankful we have been frugal for a year and paid off a good chunk of our debt. We already know how to live off of one salary - we did it before when I quit my job to freelance for a year. We will be OK, at least for now. Who knows what the future holds, but I know that things will work out, even if it isn't the way I expect.

What to say...

Have you ever had a day that was somehow both amazing and horrible all wrapped into one?

Today was like that for me.

It was a great day because we spent the day celebrating a great boss. It was awful because it was his last day as our boss.

We surprised him by showing up at his house, bright and early and making chocolate chip pancakes. We showered him with going away gifts of the nature that only employees that truly love their boss can give. We went to a go cart track where we raced to our heart's content (for 8 minutes). We ate, played Wii and shared jokes for the last time as a cohesive team.

Hopefully Ron will always be in our lives, but probably never in the same way again. I feel so blessed to have worked so closely with such a talented group of people, being led by such a great leader. I know we will all miss him terribly. Monday will be a hard day.

"But the only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible." - Arthur C. Clark

Unexpected Change

Change is not always fun, but unexpected change is always much worse. This morning, after our staff meeting, our creative director announced that Friday would be his last day. This CD has been the best boss that I have ever had and I will be sad to see him go. I was definitely shocked at the announcement - the bagels he brought in were of little consolation (even if they did taste good). So now we are looking at a significant change to our team.

After the meeting, I checked my email and had a message from Daniel asking me to call him. I gave him a call to find out that his company just had another round of layoffs. Thankfully he was spared, but this is the second such round of layoffs in the last couple of months.

This was definitely not how I expected my Monday to go. I am somewhat overwhelmed by all of these sudden changes...