Twenty Years

I recently heard an idea that was attributed to Aristotle that I can't quit thinking about: "If you want to come across as an ethical man, you need to be an ethical man." The more I think about this, I find that I can extrapolate this concept to most parts of my life, including marriage.

 

If I want a good spouse, I need to be a good spouse. 

 

 

 

Spoiler alert: I am not always a good spouse. And a lot of times when our marriage feels like it is going off the rails, one or both of us (probably both) is not being a good spouse.  

 

 

 

Friday was our twentieth wedding anniversary. Twenty years full of amazing memories, but also twenty years of being human and selfish. We don't always get it right. It takes work. A lot of work. 

 

 

 

We have both changed so much in the last twenty years. We have grown up. We have shifted in things we think. We have become more stubborn in some areas. It has taken work to show up and continue on.

   

 

Some days (years) seem so easy, some are incredibly hard and fraught with tension and misunderstanding. But we have continued on and it has, and continues to be, worth it.

 

Earlier this year we had discussed taking a big trip for this important 20th anniversary. We are not great at celebrating and it takes a lot of intention for us to make something like this happen. We are also procrastinators. And while we kept quietly talking about this trip we needed to take, we never made 

plans. 

 

In fact, the week before, Daniel called me to ask if he should take any days off since we hadn't decided on anything. I told him to take off Thursday and Friday and we went about setting a plan in motion. We found friends to keep the boys and booked a tiny house locally on Sunday (for Thursday!). 

 

It wasn't a grandiose thing. It was fairly last minute. I decided we should go on a couple of hikes that I love that I have done with our kids but that Daniel had not been able to experience. He decided where we should eat. We had fun just the two of us. It wasn't exhausting and we came home rejuvenated in our relationship.

 

I hope we take that big trip sometime in the next year, but if we don't, it's okay. I have never felt so content. Maybe contentment is where it is at. High expectations can wreak havoc (in my experience). Connecting with each other and working individually to be good spouses and finding contentment, that is what twenty years of marriage has taught me.

Happy 20th Anniversary, Daniel! I pray for many more years together and many more adventures to come!

A Look Back on the blog:
Five Years  |  Six Years  |  Skipped Seven Year Post  |  Eight Years  |  Nine Years  |  Ten Years  |  Eleven Years  |  Twelve Years  |  Thirteen Years  |  Fourteen Years  |  Fifteen Years

15th Anniversary: Toccoa River

Earlier this year, I had imagined that Daniel and I would take a trip, just the two of us, to celebrate our 15th Anniversary. 

Perhaps Colorado where we honeymooned? Maybe Europe, or The Caribbean? That was my hope.

But that didn’t happen. Instead we spent a weekend as a family in the North Georgia Mountains.

As I sat on the bank of the Toccoa River on the day of our anniversary, I realized that this is the life that I love and that I chose, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

We spent our special day as a family. 

We hiked to the Toccoa River swinging bridge. We played in snow. We wandered in old forest. 

And it was perfect. 

Daniel and I ended the night by stealing away, just the two of us. 

We ate at Harvest on Main in Blue Ridge, GA. It was 32F and we ate outside on the restaurant porch, under a heat lamp. 

The food was delicious, even if the temperature was a bit frigid. We still enjoyed our time alone.

We ended the night at Walmart, because we are the parents of small children and we needed diapers. 

Life is busy, not always what you expect, hard at times, but always good. 

Happy 15th Daniel! I’m so glad to spend my days with you. 

A Look Back on the blog:
Five Years  |  Six Years  |  Skipped Seven Year Post  |  Eight Years  |  Nine Years  |  Ten Years  |  Eleven Years  |  Twelve Years  |  Thirteen Years  |  Fourteen Years

14th Anniversary

I have been sharing a lot online for going on 10 years now. TEN YEARS! That's a little crazy, if I'm being honest. 

And perhaps I have shared too much, and maybe I haven't painted an exact picture of real life, but rather the happiest version of real life because that is what I want to remember.

But overall I'm so thankful that I have shared. I've done it for my parents and grandparents who live far away from me, but mostly I have done it for me and Daniel and our little family. 

And when I look back at these snippets – the instagram photos, the blog posts, the stuff on Facebook (thank you On This Day moments) – it reminds me that the good parts in life are really good. 

And when I'm having a hard day, or month, or year, I can look back and remember that good times are always there, sprinkled in among the mundane and harder moments.

Fourteen years ago, Daniel and I married on a cold Monday evening, surrounded by family and friends. What followed has been years of ups and downs. 

There have been exhilarating moments, trying moments, moments of sadness and also moments of great joy. We have seen each other at our best and worst. We have hung on through good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for richer and poorer. 

When my days are feeling rocky, I only have to glance back at these collections of memories and remember that the good times are worth more than anything I could ask for. 

Daniel Moore: I'm so glad we chose each other and that we share this life together, on the good days and the bad. I love you forever.
 

A Look Back on the blog:
Five Years  |  Six Years  |  Skipped Seven Year Post  |  Eight Years  |  Nine Years  |  Ten Years  |  Eleven Years  |  Twelve Years  | Thirteen Years