Twenty Years

I recently heard an idea that was attributed to Aristotle that I can't quit thinking about: "If you want to come across as an ethical man, you need to be an ethical man." The more I think about this, I find that I can extrapolate this concept to most parts of my life, including marriage.

 

If I want a good spouse, I need to be a good spouse. 

 

 

 

Spoiler alert: I am not always a good spouse. And a lot of times when our marriage feels like it is going off the rails, one or both of us (probably both) is not being a good spouse.  

 

 

 

Friday was our twentieth wedding anniversary. Twenty years full of amazing memories, but also twenty years of being human and selfish. We don't always get it right. It takes work. A lot of work. 

 

 

 

We have both changed so much in the last twenty years. We have grown up. We have shifted in things we think. We have become more stubborn in some areas. It has taken work to show up and continue on.

   

 

Some days (years) seem so easy, some are incredibly hard and fraught with tension and misunderstanding. But we have continued on and it has, and continues to be, worth it.

 

Earlier this year we had discussed taking a big trip for this important 20th anniversary. We are not great at celebrating and it takes a lot of intention for us to make something like this happen. We are also procrastinators. And while we kept quietly talking about this trip we needed to take, we never made 

plans. 

 

In fact, the week before, Daniel called me to ask if he should take any days off since we hadn't decided on anything. I told him to take off Thursday and Friday and we went about setting a plan in motion. We found friends to keep the boys and booked a tiny house locally on Sunday (for Thursday!). 

 

It wasn't a grandiose thing. It was fairly last minute. I decided we should go on a couple of hikes that I love that I have done with our kids but that Daniel had not been able to experience. He decided where we should eat. We had fun just the two of us. It wasn't exhausting and we came home rejuvenated in our relationship.

 

I hope we take that big trip sometime in the next year, but if we don't, it's okay. I have never felt so content. Maybe contentment is where it is at. High expectations can wreak havoc (in my experience). Connecting with each other and working individually to be good spouses and finding contentment, that is what twenty years of marriage has taught me.

Happy 20th Anniversary, Daniel! I pray for many more years together and many more adventures to come!

A Look Back on the blog:
Five Years  |  Six Years  |  Skipped Seven Year Post  |  Eight Years  |  Nine Years  |  Ten Years  |  Eleven Years  |  Twelve Years  |  Thirteen Years  |  Fourteen Years  |  Fifteen Years

Dahlonega Christmas Lights

As part of our Anniversary weekend, we were able to spend some time with some of Daniel's family, who were also staying in Ellijay.

Our boys were able to hang out with them on the evening of our anniversary so we could go out by ourselves for our anniversary dinner.

They enjoyed lots of games, and the boy's aunts helped them make gingerbread houses. I think Jack did most of the gingerbread building.

Isaac had fun being pulled around in a wagon by his Nana, and playing with two stuffed moose he discovered.

Then we spent all of Sunday with the family as well.

Our original plan had been to go together to Amicalola Falls, but Sunday turned out to be rainy, which was not ideal weather for navigating hundreds of stairs.

Instead we hung out at their cabin, watched speed skating and other winter sports, and then decided to head to Dahlonega, GA for dinner and a stroll around the downtown square to view the Christmas lights.

Our restaurant of choice was Shenanigans, an Irish Pub downtown. We were able to sit on the enclosed patio (with more heat lamps). It wasn't quite as cold on this night, and everyone was quite toasty.

Daniel had Fish and Chips, while I tried a Greuben which was a Reuben Sandwich with Blackened Grouper, which was amazing! I think everyone was happy with their selections.

The kids shared a pizza, and afterward Daniel, Jack, Isaac and I split a piece of Guinness Chocolate Cake with Black Raspberry Ganache, which was fantastic and reminded us of Daniel's Grandmother who used to make delicious chocolate raspberry brownies.

After our bellies were full, we wandered around the square to take in the lights. It was drizzling out, but not too cold. We arrived too late to visit Santa, but the kids enjoyed playing on Santa's sleight outside the visitor's center.

It was a lovely way to spend the evening with family. On the drive back to our cabin we stumbled by a neighborhood with a pretty great light display. See video above. We are thankful for this opportunity we had to spend time with family.

15th Anniversary: Toccoa River

Earlier this year, I had imagined that Daniel and I would take a trip, just the two of us, to celebrate our 15th Anniversary. 

Perhaps Colorado where we honeymooned? Maybe Europe, or The Caribbean? That was my hope.

But that didn’t happen. Instead we spent a weekend as a family in the North Georgia Mountains.

As I sat on the bank of the Toccoa River on the day of our anniversary, I realized that this is the life that I love and that I chose, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

We spent our special day as a family. 

We hiked to the Toccoa River swinging bridge. We played in snow. We wandered in old forest. 

And it was perfect. 

Daniel and I ended the night by stealing away, just the two of us. 

We ate at Harvest on Main in Blue Ridge, GA. It was 32F and we ate outside on the restaurant porch, under a heat lamp. 

The food was delicious, even if the temperature was a bit frigid. We still enjoyed our time alone.

We ended the night at Walmart, because we are the parents of small children and we needed diapers. 

Life is busy, not always what you expect, hard at times, but always good. 

Happy 15th Daniel! I’m so glad to spend my days with you. 

A Look Back on the blog:
Five Years  |  Six Years  |  Skipped Seven Year Post  |  Eight Years  |  Nine Years  |  Ten Years  |  Eleven Years  |  Twelve Years  |  Thirteen Years  |  Fourteen Years