It's been awhile since my last post. We are still living in a Corona world. Life is going on, but standing still. I gave up counting the days we've been in a pandemic months ago. I quit watching the news. I started seeing people in outside places again back in June and my mental health improved 100%.
I just saw that my county is issuing an extension of its mask mandate. Now we are being required to where masks outside as well as inside until sometime in January.
On the one hand, I know cases are on the rise. However, I also know, by and large, a tiny percentage of people are dying from this. And while that is sad, it is also maddening that we are all expected to live as though we each definitely have the virus instead of being mindful of those who are highest risk, we all must act like we are all equally high risk.
When I was 16, I vividly remember my mom having trepidation about me driving on my own. Specifically at night because she was worried that either A) I would have a wreck or B) some other driver would kill me. This was so frustrating to me as a new driver who wanted more than anything my new independence.
Instead of arguing with her verbally, I researched and wrote an argument that I presented to her. I don't have that paper, but this is the gist of what I wrote:
She was right, I could die while driving a car. I could be killed by another driver or by my own stupidity. But, I could also die from other things. I could get cancer and die. I could be hit by a car walking down the street and die (I was actually hit by a car when I was ten, but thankfully it was not fatal). I could die of carbon monoxide poisoning, or a fire, in our own home. I could get pneumonia and die. There are so many things I could die from. My mom finally gave in and allowed me to drive a car like all the other 16-year olds.
Taking this argument further, I didn't know this as a 16 year old, but when I was in my mid-20s I would get a blood clot in my leg (DVT) that would turn into a blood clot in my lungs (PE) from which I could have died. Turns out there was a 1 in 6,000 chance that would happen from being on birth control (a risk I was completely unaware of at the time). And it happened to me (again, thankfully it was not fatal). I also endured a high-risk pregnancy with my youngest that ended with a placenta abruption. If I had not been at the hospital when it happened, I could have died. Those are just some of my near-death experiences. Things beyond my control. Do I choose to lock myself up? No. Did I choose not to have my son even though it was a risk to my own life? No.
As soon as we are born, we are all marching toward death. We can't stop it. For some it comes earlier than others. Some have near misses like me, but death is still coming.
I keep seeing this idea expressed on social media that we should choose "not see relatives for the holidays now so that we can see them later." This idea really bothers me. For one thing, grown adults (our parents/our grandparents) should be able to make that decision for themselves; for another, what if you skip this holiday with a loved one and they die from something else? What if they die from something out of their control like a car wreck? What then? For me, I would carry immense guilt if I put off those relationships and something happened to a love one any ways.
At what cost are we doing the things we are doing? We need connection. We need community. If a private business mandates you wear a mask on their private property, I have no problem complying. But when standing outside where transmission has been shown to be minuscule? Or on my own property? In my own house? That is a harder thing to get on board with. Our constitution gives us the right to life and liberty, these governances feel like they are treading on those rights.
Last Tuesday was an unexpectedly hard day for our household, and it is something we are still sort of in the
middle of.
What started off as a fantastic weekend camping with friends (where
our extra-grouchy dog was the most chill she has ever been and got lots
of love) ended with Sophie being terribly sick.
Daniel took her to the vet
first thing Tuesday and we learned through x-rays that she has a significant growth
that appears to be pressing on all of her organs and does not seem to be allowing her to digest
food properly.
There's a good chance it is cancer.
Her bloodwork showed she had possible liver
damage and the overall prognosis wasn’t good. After seeing the bloodwork, the vet specifically told us she had a 10% chance of recovery.
The vet gave her fluids for
dehydration and anti-nausea medicine, then sent her home with us so we
could love on her and spoil her for at least 24 hours.
Daniel brought her home and we
immediately cancelled all
plans for Tuesday and Wednesday and decided to take a spontaneous drive
to the mountains to
hike as a family. Daniel rode in the very back with her while I drove us up to Huckleberry Knob on the Cherohala Skyway outside of Tellico Plains.
Our Sophie loves to hike with us. She loves to stop and smell the
roses (really any flower in her path). She loves to run free on the open
balds. So we let her do all of these things.
The four of us talked about all of our good memories with Sophie over the last
eleven years and just took the time to enjoy being with her, not getting home until
midnight that night.
We were actually supposed to start school last Wednesday but decided
to wait since everything felt a bit upside down. For five nights Sophie
got me up every couple of hours. It was exhausting and emotional.
Sophie
didn't (and doesn’t) appear to be in pain and is still enjoying long daily walks with
Daniel at Green Gorge. We talked about end of life plans, but couldn’t quite bear to make the call that seemed
to be on the horizon.
That was last week. Friday night she finally pooped and all of her
energy bounced back. She quit waking us (me) up at all hours and is
eating again. We have no idea what to expect in the future, but for now
she is doing leaps and bounds better.
We have been
walking through joy and sorrow and the knowledge that her time with us
is limited, but are also incredibly grateful for this gift of extra time with our thirteen-year-old girl who still seems so much like a puppy.
The very first time I went backpacking, I was twelve. It was in Colorado. We actually went to the top of Mt. Elbert, the highest peak in the state. And standing on that mountaintop, I knew I had discovered a hobby that would be with me for life.
There is something about the process of going into the woods and working hard to achieve something difficult, like standing on top of a mountain, that changes you. That first trip (and the following four trips I completed) were with Wilderness Trek. Those trips taught me life lessons like: how encouraging others when you are struggling will make your own experience easier.
One year, we circled up and had to pass our pack to the person on our
right. This taught me that we are all carrying heavy loads, and as
heavy as my load might be, the one next to me might be heavier. It also
taught me that if we are to reach the top, EVERYONE has to reach the
top. If one is unable to make it, we are all unable to make it. And
sometimes circumstances outside our control, like the weather, will keep us
from finishing. And those trips where we didn't meet our goals are still
worth the effort because of the personal growth and relationships that are formed regardless of how things play out.
When Daniel and I met it was on a caving trip
that I was leading in college. He was invited by a mutual friend and he
ended up being a great help to me as that particular trip ended up being the biggest group I
had ever taken. Daniel stayed in the back and made sure no one got separated
or too far behind. It was one of the things that really stuck out to me
about him on that trip. I guess I must have made an impression on him
as well because he kept showing up in my circle of friends after that!
After we married, we didn't have a lot of money. I had a college
degree but we were in a small town and the only job I could find in my
industry was at a small family-owned printing company that only paid
$7/hour and did not provide insurance. We were scraping by while Daniel finished his
degree in engineering. During that time we decided to spend as much time
as possible together in the woods. It was a relatively inexpensive hobby and it gave us a lot of time to connect outside of school and work.
We did backpacking trips all over east Tennessee. Now that we live back
in the state I find that we stumble across old trails I had forgotten
about and memories from almost twenty years ago come flooding back.
After Daniel finished his degree, we moved to Charlotte, NC, where we would
purchase our first house and complete a five-year renovation. This left
little time for our passions in the outdoors (although we did manage a few trips). After the recession of 2010, we ended back in the Tennessee Valley. In early 2011 (the year Jack came along) we did one final backpacking trip in the Sipsey Wilderness area. That was my last time on a trail overnight.
When Jack was little, we attempted a backpacking trip that ended up being a bust, and I decided to put that part of my life on the back burner.
So when a friend of mine asked on Facebook if I, along with any other women, would want
to do a last-minute backpacking trip with her. I wanted to shout a
resounding, "YES!" across the internet.
It would be a quick out-and-back two days after I got home from
camper-camping in Florida. If I am honest, I was a little worried. My
friend wanted to complete 13 miles in the heat of July. I hadn't been
working out regularly since the coronavirus took down the world, and I
wasn't 100% confident in my ability. However, I did have a lot of experience backpacking and I was more than ready to be on the
trail again. I wanted to remind myself of what I was capable of. And I also wanted to go to encourage
the two women who would be joining us who had never backpacked before.
We met Saturday morning for a shakedown. Basically my friend Shannon
and I partnered up with Billie and Marty and helped them determine what
they could leave behind. We ended up cutting both their piles of
equipment in half. I'm pretty sure they were both grateful that we
didn't let them bring all the things.
Then we hit the trail. The temps would reach in the mid to upper 90s
with heat indexes well above 100. And part of the trail was on exposed
rock faces that radiated that heat back at us even more. It was HOT.
As we started, Shannon took the lead and set a good pace for us. I have
found that it is best to have one experienced person do that and a second experienced person to
stay at the rear to encourage the group and not let anyone fall behind
(like Daniel did on my caving trip all those years ago). Both the front
and rear person are extremely important.
So as the day wore on, I would remind everyone to drink water, and
when necessary stop to eat as a group. Because of my experience on the
trail, I know first-hand what it feels like to get unbalanced
electrolytes from not eating properly and also what severe dehydration
feels like. With that knowledge it makes it easy to remind others what
to do to combat that so they don't have a bad experience.
The trail would have us climb from the North Chickamauga Creek,
gaining the ridge on the side of Mowbray Mountain and dropping back down
to our campsite at the creek on the far side of the mountain. This
trail is listed as hard on AllTrails and it was definitely that. I would
venture to say it was even strenuous at times.
I actually did a portion of this hike with my kids earlier this year, as part of our weekly homeschool day hikes. We did a small part of the Hogskin's Loop to Strip Mine Falls and back down to the Blue Hole. The extended version of this hike, with overnight packs, was much harder!
For our ladies hike, after hiking all day in the heat, it started to thunder as we came down the back side of the mountain.
I could see a rocky overhang at the bottom and suggested we get there
and wait out the rain that appeared to be on the way. This ended up being a good decision because it
did start raining and this gave us a good 45-minute rest and everyone's gear stayed dry.
The other benefit, that we were unaware of at the time, was that we
had a mile of hiking left to camp. And that mile would be brutal. We
would be picking our way over large rocks all the way down. Our toes
would be jammed into the front of our boots, leaving our feet bruised.
It was rough.
We reached the Stevenson Branch campsite at 5pm. Shannon's original goal was to squeeze in another
three miles. However, we all agreed that due to timing and difficulty of the
trail it made more sense to stop and enjoy the evening at camp (this
would reduce our overall mileage from 13 miles to 10). We completed five
miles that day and were all pretty worn out.
We dropped our packs, changed into sandals and went down to the river
to get fresh water and also soak our weary feet. We all ended up
getting in the water to cool off as well.
After soaking for a bit, we felt refreshed and headed back to camp to set up our hammocks
and get supper and a fire going. Spending a day like this is not for the
faint of heart. It was hard. But it also takes down barriers and
allowed us all to share freely. We talked until after the stars came
out. This is one of my favorite things about being on the trail.
The next morning we ate breakfast, packed up camp, and attacked that
first mile that we knew would be challenging. Climbing up the trail on
fresh legs was still hard, but much easier than the day before.
Our initial goal of the day was to get high enough to have cell
service to check in with our families. We had thought Verizon had full
coverage of the area, but it turns out that even Verizon doesn't cover
hidden hollers in East Tennessee.
Shannon and I kept telling the others that walking out would be easier. It always is. And while it was still hot, and still hard, it was easier. We all left the trail with smiles on our faces. I know I will be back in the future, though I am definitely more of a fall and spring camper that a middle-of-summer camper!
We kicked off our outdoor activities in June by doing a family bike
ride to the Brow. Isaac is getting closer to making it up the big
hills, but still has to walk some.
A Few days later we met up with friends to ride bikes on the Riverwalk and swim in the Tennessee River. This was an almost perfect day, ruined slightly by the older gentleman who chose to yell at us for not keeping our kids in line (they had stopped in a section of trail that bottle-necked, the rest of the time they had been doing great).
Just an FYI, if you continue to yell at mothers, it might bring out a mama bear. Thankfully he did not yell at the kids and afterward we used it as a teaching moment of how you should not treat people and also discussed that maybe he was having a bad day/month/year.
The following weekend my brother drove over from Nashville and picked up me and the boys to head down to Florida for the weekend. Before we left our house, the boys demonstrated for their Uncle Mark their new rappelling skills. He was impressed.
While in Florida we did a day trip to Dog Island by boat. This was our second trip like this (the first time we were temporarily stranded and had to ride out a storm). This time was more benign, though we did accidentally run up on a sandbar trying to find the deep channel. Lots of memories for my kiddos.
Back at home the following week, we met friends to ride bikes at the local Pump Track. Jack is getting better with catching air on the hills and Isaac is getting better in general. I love to see them doing what they love. It's even better when we can do it with friends.
On Juneteenth we had a talk about what that holiday was and met some friends to ride bikes and share watermelon at a local park. Unfortunately we got rained on, but it was still nice to be out with friends.
For Father's Day weekend we did our third annual float trip on the Hiwassee River with our friends, the Pattens. In the past we have camped and rented rafts and paid for a shuttle. This year we bought two inflatable kayaks and our friend bought tubes. We met at the take-out spot, then crammed all of our gear and both families into our SUV. This ended out working beautifully. At the end of the float, we grilled burgers and ate together and then the dads drove back to pick up the other vehicle. We all had a blast and hope to do it more regularly than once a year.
To end the month, we met friends to camp for the weekend at Edgar Evins State Park and completed a day hike to Cummins Falls. The kids, ages one to eight, all did great. This was the second time I have taken my boys to hike to this waterfall. If you are visiting, new rules due to Covid-19 require that you get a day pass ahead of time – it is $6 per person. That part is a bit of a bummer, but it is worth it, and the trail wasn't overly crowded.
