Do you remember what you were doing a year ago? When normal was still normal? When the thought of a worldwide infectious disease was still just a thing in China. And then Europe?
My last memory of before was sitting at my good friend's kitchen island, as we were wont to do every Thursday afternoon. Our kids ran obliviously through her yard while we drank coffee and talked about what was happening in hushed voices. Do you really think they will cancel school? Should we go buy toilet paper? Nah. That seems crazy. Do you have enough groceries in case we have to stay home for awhile? Are you worried?
It was our last in-person visit until July.
Not having those weekly meet-ups with her and others was devastating at the beginning.
For about three months, our family sat at home. Unsure. Afraid. We wore masks to the grocery store and washed and lysoled the groceries. But there was also a shift. We talked to our neighbors more as the entire neighborhood seemed to be out walking marathons of steps in an effort to keep sane.
Our kids slept in cushion forts on our back porch for over 100 nights straight. Through the freezing nights of March and hot nights of July and early August. We found new rhythms and routines. We made memories as a family. We baked bread and pieced together puzzles. We had weekly zoom chats with our small group. My family started a weekly video chat (that we still keep up with today).
There were tears and hard days, but also a lot of good.
In June, a few things changed. We started making different choices. We began to see people again. Mostly a small circle of friends. But those circles began to grow. I started working out at the Y again. A small group of us met in the parking lot behind the building. We brought kids and bikes and scooters and we sweated in the hot sun together. We still do that today. Twice a week. It has been a life saver – both physically and emotionally. We need people.
We decided it was worth the risk to start camping with a small group of friends again. Every three weeks, like clockwork, we gathered our gear and families and met with good friends. These weekends brought normal to a very abnormal year.
Our small group started meeting again in real life. Gathering in back yards where kids could run free and parents could social distance around a campfire.
In July I started to meet each week with a group of ladies for a Bible study. We would bring camp chairs and sit in the parking lot behind our church building. We read the Bible and prayed together, sharing the hardest parts of the year and supporting each other. When the days got colder and darker we met in the church lobby with camp chairs. It felt very clandestine. Now we meet openly at the building and the group is doubling because people have a need for God and community.
When school started back up, Daniel and I weren't sure about having our kids at their normal homeschool co-op where classes would be small but they would still be meeting in small rooms. Instead we continued on at home, but the kids and I met up every Monday afternoon at playgrounds all over the Tennessee Valley with our homeschool friends. On the coldest days of December and January we met. We walked and did squats and lunges to stay warm while we talked and our kids played. I organized weekly hikes for our homeschool friends. The need for community driving away all fear. We clung to hope that being outside was enough. And it has been.
We chose to see family for the holidays. On Easter, Daniel's dad and his wife came and waved at us from our front porch. By Thanksgiving we were willing to attend a gathering to see more of Daniel's family and his precious grandmother. Because only God knows when our time is up. And we don't want to miss being with loved ones who might not be with us always. We met with my family to celebrate Christmas. And the naysayers on the internet screamed that no one should meet. It wasn't worth it. When did we become a society that let other people dictate who and when we met and what is important in our own lives? In our own families?
So for three months our family lived in fear. But for the last nine months, we have chosen differently. We are lucky to live in a place where there are not draconian measures set against us. We use masks to go inside, but mostly we don't go inside. We have had many friends experience covid, they stayed home when they were sick. We saw them before and after, but we have tried to make wise choices when sickness has been in our midst.
We have no idea of the day or the hour of which we will die. None of us do. It could be from covid. It could be from a car wreck, or so many other things. We are choosing to live our lives to the best of our ability. With some precautions, but no longer from a repressed state of fear.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~ Isaiah 41:10
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:6-7
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” ~ Psalm 23:4
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” ~ Joshua 1:9
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” ~ Matthew 6:34
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” ~ Psalm 46:1
