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Chats with Jack ⎮ September-October, 2015

Me: Throwing [pretend] swords at people's foreheads isn't nice.

At the playground: I want to make lots of new friends.

Jack: Mommy, I wonder what peanut butter and water make.
Me: A mess.
Jack [a few minutes later, laughing]: A mess, hahaha, that's funny.

Mommy, this is a painting of lots of bird poop. 
[showed me his preschool painting - white paint on blue construction paper]

Me: I have happy boys. Are you happy?
Jack: Only when I don't get consequences.

Stinky poop smells like bad waffles.

Can we eat at the Pizza Place next to Mexico?  
[referencing El Metate, our local Mexican restaurant]

Daniel: If you're going to wee [slide on the hammock], wee gently.

What kind of joke is that?
[asked at random times, never related to an actual joke...]

Can I have the pizza cheese in the green container? [parmesan]
I love cheese, I eat quickly if there is cheese [on my food].

I need my humidity-fire.

Several years ago, my niece Izzy went through an "actually" stage. Jack is currently in that stage - it's his new favorite word. He uses it all.the.time.

Saw a picture of birds in a bird cage and was very concerned about the birds, "They're trapped!"

Me: I'm going to set a timer on my phone [for screen time].
Jack: Set it for 100 minutes.

Jack: I don't like this [gnocchi]... have I had it before?
Me: Just finish your bite.
Jack: Oh, yeah I like it.

Mommy, when will you have a day off so you can go grocery shopping?

Don't sing that song, or off with your roses! [head, Alice in Wonderland reference]

Daniel: Hey Jack, since Sophie is in  the driver's seat I'm going to let her drive the car and take you to go get pizza. 
Jack: Actually daddy, Sophie can't drive the car. 
Daniel: Why not? 
Jack: Because she doesn't have any hands.


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