Had an OB appointment this afternoon. Baby's heartbeat is strong at 150 beats per minute and I have grown an appropriate amount. I continue to feel good and was able to get in a 2-mile run this morning. Our next visit will be an ultrasound in about 2 weeks and we should find out the gender then.
The biggest thing I struggle with these days is a foreboding that in the process of becoming a mom I am losing me. Perhaps that is what drives me to do things like run a half marathon or climb a mountain.
My identity is changing and I am trying my best to embrace that. I just don't want to lose the parts of me that I consider define who I am as a person. I struggled with this when I first got married {8+ years ago – wow!}. Taking on a new last name was hard for me. It felt like I was no longer the same person. In reality I have grown into a person that is more than who I was when I was single. I had to give up parts of the single me, but becoming the married me was definitely worth the sacrifice. I am hoping that having a baby is like that.
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